I can't look at you anymore. I don't even want to know where you are. I hate your friends. I hate the way they treat everyone else. I hate their friends. I hate not knowing why I can't even think about you, when I can't stop thinking about you all day. You're there in my head; but you're not here on my bed.
I hate that I'm alone. I hate that no one did anything wrong. I hate not talking to you. I hate that talking to you makes me hate more. I hate that only time is stopping me.
I hate that I'm not hurting that much anymore.
I wore new shoes today. I danced them all the way home, thinking about someone else. They walked me all around town, into other people's homes, into other people's lives. Into other people's arms. I danced them home, and now I can see them, missing you still.
I think my eyes are the most innocent here. My mind fucks me up big time. Tells me you enjoy spending more time around others. Tells me you are having fun. Tells me you never did with me. Which is stupid. You did. But my mind loves to rake it's claws through my heart. And that's where you are still. In my heart. And that's just what my mind does. So if any of this offends you, you can take comfort that you're not the only one offended by this. I'm just growing, and your roots have tanlged with mine.
I'm so sorry.
Just so you know, this is just me venting onto electronic paper. Not necessarily telling the truth
ReplyDeleteThis made me think of you. It's completely unrelated to this post, but I chose to put it here anyway...
ReplyDeletePencil: You know, I’m really sorry.
Eraser: For what? You didn’t do anything wrong.
Pencil: I’m sorry because you get hurt because of me. Whenever I make a mistake, you’re always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller every time.
Eraser: That’s true, but I don’t really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though, one of these days, I know I’ll be gone and you will have to replace me with a new one, I’m actually happy with my job. So please stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad.
Well, least your still feeling something. Some people are dead on the inside.
ReplyDeleteTo feel pain is a good quality to have in life. When there is no pain I start getting worried :)
Writing stuff out can clear your head sometimes. Good Stuff!
Every heard of the story about the frog and the scorpion? (see below link)
http://su.pr/2GER9Y
See you guys soon!
Thank you both
ReplyDelete